Most of you really dont know the job of a father cos the past nigerian men did not really do much for us, so to u, a father is a man who does not deny a pregnancy and shows up every now and then and that’s bullsh!t. most nigerian men grew up seeing women be the man of the house so very few truly understand the hardwork that goes into being a man especially cos their fathers were physically present while their mothers ran everything yet they’re told the man is the head of the house so they’re confused and think the little they’ve seen papa do is what the head of the house does, yet if mommy stops her contributions, the house will scatter, but daddy could die and no one will notice any difference in schedule cos he doesnt do sh!t, yet ppl call him the head so most ppl honestly believe what makes a man the head is merely being a man.
cos i cannot for the life of me understand how a 28 yr old guy will ask “how do i convince her to keep the pregnancy and if i successfully convince her to keep the pregnancy, how do we go about this?” these are tough questions and decision only a man should make as the head and he’s here asking what to do for himself, the girl and the child when he brings it here!! what about these questions screams “born leader” to any of u? he wants advice from the internet on how to run his life and most of u havent seen a man ever lead so u cannot see when a man is clearly unfit to lead.
you’re trying to get a blind man to fly a plane cos all your life you’ve seen blind men flying planes and landing it safely but what most of u either dont see or admit is that the whole time, the woman sitting at the co-pilot’s chair, flew that plane herself, landed it and let the man take the credit. that is why some of u can see a totally unprepared man and think he can do the job cos to u it’s relatively not that hard. this task is one he should excuse himself from, at least for now, yrs later he could be a totally differnt person who wont need guidance and full of maturity but till then..
this method of semi-absentee, part time dads does not work anymore, if this was 1989 as childish as i found the OP, i would have advised him to rush the rites as fast as he can, marry the girl and settle down. but this is 2018. there are certain ways of living, being married, raising children that was not exactly ideal but for back in those days, it was productive. but now, the world has changed too much and if u keep trying to live in this modern age with unrefined methods passed down by your parents, you will suffer. there’s a reason more and more children are getting brutalized and damaged. methods of upbringing that were ok in the past are now becoming dangerous. most of u have been passed down a lot of dysfunction, cycle of abuse and laziness in men disguised as masculinity.
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Re: Nigerian Men Dont Know How To Be Men!! by oolongtea(m): 12:09am
that’s also the reason no one here feels the girl is too young cos we’ve seen women of almost every age raise children, nigerian women are not allowed to be lazy or weak cos someone has to get sh!t done. then there’s the brigade of ppl who secretly wish to punish women who dont want to be pregnant. they dont mind the cold truth that the person who will truly suffer is the child who would have honestly preferred to not exist than to live an awful life they’ve forced them into just to spite the mother. we read stories of children here everyday, thrown inside dustbin or sold or abandoned in buildings. they’ll just say chai chai, what do u think happens to those children??! this world will raise them HARD with no conscience, convinced that life is not to come and shine teeth, u do anyhow u see anyhow. in 30 yrs time, u all will be shocked by the type of deranged creatures that have been raised in this nigeria roaming your streets. then of course there’s your angel, your little princess raised like an egg and your son you will die on the cross for.. u will show them all the love u have and one day it’s time for them to go into the real world to mingle with the beasts of no nation that u campaigned to bring here while knowing u cant do anything to give them a good life sentencing them to hardship and they’ve become full-blown sociopaths.
You’d think these fools who refuse to be practical about what happens to these unloved children will give these unwanted kids heaven and earth but they wont even spit on the poor child if he/she was on fire. all these dont abort pls gang who encourage unwanted children, u are not dangote, shey u see these lil babies that u forced their mothers to keep that grew up on the streets, there are millions of these children all over nigeria, slowly becoming monsters and soon they’ll be in charge. then when u get the phone call that your angel son in uni that u sent N15k was just brutally murdered near his lodge by petty thieves for a mere 15k and his handset, u’ll start screaming. when they break into your home to gangrape all your daughters till they require 17 stitches and a hysterectomy and spill a few of your sons’ brain matter on the wall while u watch, u’ll start crying and biting your lip till u draw blood asking god where are u.
no amount of your pain will take back what they’ve done to u, worst part is they cant even see the gravity of what they’ve done cos as far as they know, it’s how life should be. when they are the boss and they have u begging on your knees, who will u call to help u? do we even have 911 in nigeria? do u have money to live in a gated community in banana island and have your own security team? no, what will happen will happen and we’ll read about it on lindaikeji and as usual say chai chai and linda will cash out on your misery in ad revenue. still.. your whole world.. crushed! what legal system will give u justice? none, you’ll have to learn just like these kids have learned to hurt in vain, stop asking for justice and find a way to live with it. i dont pity most nigerians anymore, they dont think and they dont learn, history will keep repeating itself with most of u. most of u dont even have the financial capacity to live above the mess that is coming. your president will go to london for treatment, u’ll die on a queue in a nigerian hospital, when your kids are getting hell on nigerian campus, the kids of your leaders are in the US studying with the creme de la creme totally oblivious to your children’s damage. yet they let you live out your miserable lives in a hellhole like animals, the UK and US they cant seem to get enough of, abortion is legal there, it’s legal in all EU countries and it’s legal in every developed nation. cos they know what happens if u let ppl be raised like animals, they spend unbelievable amounts to see to it that those who are born but have no homes are given some form of stability and love and have security to keep citizens safe.
i raised kids in the 90s and any honest person who was either raised then or raised kids too at that time will admit that if u raise a child exactly like we raised them back then, u will raise a total liability cos the world is crazy and parenting methods must be adjusted. there are many stories u will never hear of what many families have gone through, u will be shocked at the current rate of child sexual abuse and even more shocked when u find out how severely underestimated those figure are for little boys (7 in every 10 nigerian girl)(5 in every 10 nigerian boy[3 in every 5 abused by men]) and i know young ppl hate hearing this but one day it will be your turn to see what others have seen, u will see the slay queens give birth and have mummy body, u will see u and your male friends lose all your hair and have potbellies, u will go through the old ppl disease too, highBP, diabetes, rheumatism, eye problems. every thing in life will happen with u just like it’s happened to others. it’s the cycle of life.
the problem is the ugly part of life that about 90% of ppl go though but never talk about openly about, think of it like how there are many things you’ve experienced that your parents have no clue about even though they were there the whole time, it doesnt have to be abuse, just intense experiences. u reading this, u know many many men who have been sexually abused, same with girls, some ppl u know will bury their children, some will die young, some ppl will get into life altering accidents. even if this makes sense to one single person, save yourself!! if there is anything u can do to improve your quality of life, do it. the same way u bought gen cos they wont give u light, decide that anything that will make life good for u, u will work hard to get it and secure your own comfort.
nigerians dont love themselves, stop thinking like them. everyday u hear news of a man who raped a child and they beat him and took him to police station for bail of 4,500 but a 17 yr old boy stole a laptop and they killed him. you’ll wonder if these ppl even filter their thoughts. if jungle justice must prevail why not serve justice? it’s cos these men are weak, when they see a man who did something really scary, their weakness causes them to withdraw but they see a not-so-scary victim and they use mob advantage. u would think men who have no laws to protect them will kill the psychopath/molester and give the young thief a dirty slap or 2 and let him run home crying. same way they harbor evil even when it lives in their street is how they encourage the birth of children doomed from day 1 even when the same children will grow up to terrorize them. it’s pure self-hatred. zero personal interest protected. all round foolishness.
I read the p-square thread and even commented cos he made a very intelligent statement and it’s few nigerian men that think that smart, most men will drag fire into his own house just to prove a point to the world, the world leaves and he burns in the fire that he started, and this okoye dude decided to let the fire keep burning on the streets and let it stay far from his air-conditioned home, marked his territory and secured respect for his wife and children but most nigerians are truly not used to seeing men actually step up for their woman, actually be a man and protect her, so to them he’s letting the very evil lola with 3 red horns control him cos when they see a man being a man, they think he’s being a woman cos all their female relatives work and look like men after years & years of having to work like men. so they recognize masculine energy but they’ve only seen women exude it cos they had no choice, so when they sense masculine energy, it’s a female thing to them.
most ppl here come from families with a lot of malice but their fathers never took the initiative to protect them all from the adult drama and abuse. every christmas he’ll put them in a vehicle and drive them there with a long list of ppl they must not talk to when they get there and how many hail marys must be recited in their mind if this uncle/aunty hugs them. what man sees a warzone and takes his own to the frontline and tell it to try not to die when he could have protected them from all that by not taking them there in the first place? most nigerian men cant stand their ground to protect those who need them to speak up for them and sever certain ties to keep the home they’re the head of happy and full of laugh. many women have damned themselves by association to weak men who are easily influenced by pressure and dont have a mind of their own. they leave women stranded and embarrassed always.
a woman will see it coming, she will warn, a smart man will wash eye with water and observe closely and they make a decision to escape early. a woman will see it coming and tell a weak man and he will disguise his cowardice and inability to do anything about the situation as “unnecessary female wahala” it was in my late 30s that i realized, maybe it is a spiritual thing but women have a lot of foresight, they see it first and they always try to warn, the more those instincts are silenced, the more the ability to discern evades her, weak men literally drain women of their gifts and weaken their spiritual defences. if men warn women about things with the same intensity and seriousness women warn us about things, very few women will not drop everything and pay close attention.
ask women here.. out of all the men they have dated, how many of their boyfriend’s “my guy who is like a brother to me” have ever made a move on them(women know what i mean, when your man’s close friend wants u but he cant show full signal cos u might not give a positive reply and tell on him, there’s this signal he gives, it’s vague, u pick up on it cos you’re a lady and u know these things and if u’re ready to play ball, u give back a signal and he can make his move, if u show him signs that it’s not happening, he retreats, and technically u cant accuse him of anything cos he didnt say anything..) this happens to every nigerian girl in almost every relationship and i mean it… then she starts to complain when the friend comes around, says she’s not comfortable with his constant presence, the man will ask why and she cant say what she knows is happening cos he’ll say she’s being ridiculous, so she keeps insisting she just hates his vibes and dreamt of him chasing them with cutlass and blah blah then the man will give his all-knowing male smile and say womennnnn and laugh it off. u should see how bitterly these women speak up about this, yet most men lack the emotional depth to try and cut the bs, even if the friend is that good, just limit his contact with your woman and stop bringing him to your personal space if it bothers your woman that much. hell no! nothing changes, her fears? dismissed! some men even go as far and foolish to make it known to the friend that she complained about them.
this same friend will talk about u disrespectfully to your woman behind your back and she’ll have to defend u jokingly cos she knows what he’s doing but doesnt want to show she’s understood and would rather pretend she thinks it’s all innocent coming from the friend. then when she starts to withdraw from the friend, he panics cos he feels she’ll spill the beans soon, he starts to plan to get u to tear down your home so he can go scot-free with his attempted betrayal and in most case, they win. u dont know it but it’s the seed he planted that started the disdain, the small quarrels and intolerance that sank your relationship. and dont get me started on the men that are eternal hosts, their home is a hotel to family and friends passing by town and their parlour is football view center and his wife has to be the waitress in all this, 1st time, it’ll be cute and she’s madam madam and everyone is shining teeth, 10th time, they’re no more talking to your wife with respect, they now have things they’ve seen u do, seen her do, how u live is now chat topic for your friends at the beer parlou,r then when u come, they change topic. stop exposing yourselves and your women to unnecessary mockery. cover your wife’s nyash!! ppl are not laughing at her, they are laughing at u.
if this thread ever takes off and a female has to answer, answer this: what i explained here about males not drawing boundaries with friends when it comes to u. what is the percentage of prevalence in your case(if u’ve had 4 relationships and it happened in all, it’s 100%. if it happened in 3, it’s 75%, if it happened in 2, it’s 50% etc)… men will really take something good, dangle it before others and think they’re exempt to the natural law of green envy and covetousness. meanwhile let a man show he’s uncomfortable with a girl’s friend and that friendship starts to die from that moment cos nigerian women do what women do but most nigerian men dont do what men do. most dont protect their women and kids as long as what’s harming them doesnt harm them too.
You would think that in a hard country like nigeria a man will make his home his safe place where he can relax after the crazy day on the hard streets. but nahhh he needs his madam bitter, angry, frustrated when he gets home, then he can complain some more. if u tell ppl how sweet life can be if they just decide, this country is hard and they want to be happy and find a woman who to love and actually treat her well so she stays sweet and the feminine energy in your house will be calm, you’ll see that this is actually so easy but nigerian men are so lazy. even if he finds the grace to pull through with this, if it works. he changes, starts to look more alive, then his ‘friends’ notice. stupid men dont get to keep the things they want, the way they want it, ppl stronger than him will muscle it away from him. a 1 room apartment with a small gen and a man and woman who have vowed to not be miserable like the average nigerian couple will be full of love, they might not have money to go to london trips but they’ll live a truly fulfilled life. it’s not that the nigerian man does not want this, he does, he’s just very lazy and wont do any emotional labour that involves anyone even if it will benefit hikm in the end, he just cant, it’s too hard.
i think a man truly becomes a man the day he realizes that the innate selfishness men are given is not for him to self-destruct with it but to be selfish with his own woman and children he fathered. many of u men dont love yourselves that is why u need women to love u so u can feel loved, yet u cant offer women anything besides midnight farts. i have yet to have a friend that i have told some things that i have told my woman and i know every man is like that, we dont even feel bold enough to show certain sides of us to our so-called friends but we let women truly see us and they accept what we’re too embarrassed to show and yet you prize friends over the woman who is your source of emotional strength. the reason a lot of men are so die-hard for their bros is cos they have daddy issues and they’re too weak to make their own decisions so they idolize the male figures in their life, like a little boy looking for a daddy’s approval, he holds on to their every word.
and to women because of course i saw some of u on those threads talking rubbish, men will not treat u better even if u reduce yourself to nothing. having no standards with a man does not make u quality, it makes you a non-entity, u deserve nothing and will probably end up with that. oya hard facts for the ladies, the reason men cheat on u is not cos they cant help it but cos there are no consequences, they knew what they were doing and they know u’ll cry and get over it and some even want u to know so they can hit at your self-confidence, no, he was not carried away, some even thought about u the whole time they did it and just got off on the thought of u being their fool.
if you’re with a man for money or non-emotional or purely sexual reasons then ignore this… but if a man you’re committed to ever cheats on u, walk away! he will do it again, he has no respect for u and will fail u in other ways eventually. many women stick around cos to find man is hard, dont know who told them that but ok. some women feel it’ll be crazy to leave him, then he’ll find someone else and be so much happier with her and take pics and post on the insta u youths love so much. get this, he’s happy with her just like he was happy with u, only difference is the unhappiness u chose to walk away from, she didnt get so lucky. he’s not the prize. he will be just as goatishly happy with any woman who does not love herself and is ok with constant disrespect and humiliation.
lemme throw u girls a bone, there is no sex with the greatest power trip on earth than a scorned woman getting the sh!t banged out of her balls deep by another man. none! even the genders reversed(scorned man another woman does not provide that effect, infact it provides the opposite, the man feels like crap the whole time and too many mental images cos men have to concentrate during sex but women have to zone out) i know u might not believe this, but if a man ever cheats on u, go out there and get handled by another man, the hormones and dirty serenity that’ll go through your head while it happens and the release that follows is like a reset button, like a knot fell back in place. suddenly, u feel nothing about his cheating, yet u feel no guilt, u just feel like A BOSS! and you’re over it. this works like a charm. there is no sex dynamic that out-does this. pissed off betrayed hórny woman + single man who loves to fvck other men’s wife shege is a deadly combination. this works 100%.
there’s a reason men nearly faint at the thought of being cheated on cos they know what it means for another man to have what they’re having. after u enjoy yourself, stagger home and make dinner and tell him nothing, go back to your life like nothing happened, just let the steamy encounter do for u what it 100% does and enjoy your marriage with your new-found peace of mind. that’s the hack in the whole thing, keep it to yourself and live your life knowing you enjoyed this memory of immense significance that u have all to yourself. most of u women suffer cos u wont hold men to standard and when they let u down, u stay where he kept u. stop being at the mercy of powerless men. either leave him right away or stay with him the right way. i just gave u the expo.
the reason the most resourceful richest continent on earth is the poorest and hated is cos of the african man has chosen to not grow up. to be a leader, u have to actually lead and stop being mad at women for your own low-esteem and feelings of inadequacy as a man. if a ship came from the US to draft ppl to pick cottons as slaves in america but they get to have asylum, most african men would run into that ship and with our history with ships from the US. it is a slap in the face that they took us forcefully before and now, we beg to be taken cos we failed to prove them wrong and stand on our own feet. i have lived in and out of nigeria and i can attest that the frailty our men show extends to diaspora and to women of all races and tribes and species even sef, they sink almost every woman they come in contact with who sticks around for longer than 3 seconds.
it’s a chronic state of eternal stifled man syndrome which has led to very infantile males with an extreme hatred for women and a desire to diminish them cos they cant compete where other men have competed so they try to fight for what women have. we’re the only race of men who brag about trying to marry for a better life, in other cultures, it’s a female thing to want a knight in shining armor to marry and elevate u, in naija, women are insulted for wanting a knight in shining armor but it’s ok for a man to hustle for sugar mommy or pretend to be a 19 yr old german girl and talk dirty to fellow men for cash in the name of yahoo yahoo, yet they hate oloshos who actually earn their money.
someone here suggested going behind a girl’s back to tell her mother about a pregnancy she doesnt want to keep and many ppl here think just like him, they dont even want to think of what happens to the helpless child that they’re joking about. not that the child is more important than the mother, it just shows these ppl hate women so much, they’re willing to subdue a girl, at the expense of an unborn child. some of the comments on that thread were just ridiculous. and they all pointed to the same thing, not one of these ppl knew the real job of a father, they just think the girl will raise the baby and the man will occasionally “baby-sit” his own child like most nigerian men do and they’re ok with that as if with the state of affairs, our system of everything has yielded such excellent results.
nigerian men, MAN UP! stop being a nuisance to yourselves. the world is headed somewhere ugly and many of u will implode. nigerian women, most of u go for wealth cos nigerian men are useless when it comes to romance so stay that way, those of u looking for love, actually have standards with men and never settle, if u cant find what you’re looking for in a man, stay single, u can have sex when u want, go on dates, u can even have a baby if u’re that drawn to motherhood, u carry the pikin, born am and enjoy your life cos believe me, the difference between the stress of a single mother and most married nigerian mothers is very slim. what does it say about nigerian men that his absence and presence can be taken to mean the same thing? if genitals are what make a man, then a he-goat is a man too.